Can we stop using the word “fat” and its many synonyms as
insults, please? Seriously, it is a description of one’s weight, not one’s
character. For one thing, it is often applied inaccurately. A few weeks ago, a
blogger for a newspaper wrote a column in which she referred to a cheerleader
as fat. The internet exploded, the post was removed, etc, and it wasn’t
even factual. The woman in question, while not ridiculously thin, actually did
not appear to be overweight. It was an insult, and, while the internet exploded
over the incident, it seems that it didn’t bother too many people that fat was
used as an insult, rather, the debate
was over whether the woman was indeed heavy or not. She isn’t, or at least didn’t seem to be in
the pictures I saw. She wasn’t ridiculously airbrushed, so her skin moved,
folded, etc. appropriately, but we don’t even realize that most supermodels
have those folds anymore b/c we never see them due to the insidious airbrushing that is everywhere, and thus unrealistic expectations
for the human body are set, and now a cheerleader for the opposing team is “fat”
b/c she has skin and muscle, and yes, body fat, but everyone has a certain
percentage of body fat. It is necessary for our survival as a species. Some of
us have more than others, but we all have it.
What harm is there in calling someone who is not overweight
fat? S/he isn’t really, and it’s apparent whether one is carrying around an
extra pound or five, right? Well, there’s plenty of harm in it. First of all,
young people read that drivel, then they read the comments. Anyone with eyes
and a realistic expectation of the human body notes that she isn’t heavy.
Others feel that the original blogger may not have been so off-base. Person A,
struggling with her own body image, thinks, “I look just like her. I am fat.”
Person B, also struggling, wonders “If she’s fat, what am I?” People become defensive and speak offensively.
We have equated fat with being ugly, of low character, lazy,
etc. and absolutely none of that is true. We, as a society, seem to place so
much value on being thin, that we have made fat the ultimate insult, and we
continue to use it indiscriminately. We have absolutely lost perspective on
what a healthy body, male or female, can look like, and that there is a wide
range of healthy and beautiful. We ask people to reach for the unattainable,
and when they cannot reach it, we knock them down if we don’t like them. In the process, we offer no alternative.
People give up on being healthy b/c they do not feel ideal. Others hide in the
shadows b/c they feel the crushing judgment of being overweight. Fat is not a
character flaw. Mean-spiritedness is.
Some people are indeed fat, others are extremely skinny, and
many are somewhere in between. We try to address it superficially. Dove’s “real
beauty” campaign, an occasional acknowledgement by a major retailer that it’s
okay to have a model who isn’t a size 2 or less come out of the back pages of
the catalog, but until we decide that it’s not an insult to be called fat, we
won’t make any progress. Fat is simply the state of having a higher body fat
percentage than is deemed normal or healthy for your age and sex. That’s it.
For many, there may be long-term health issues if the body fat percentage is
not reduced, but we make it extremely difficult to have honest conversations
about losing some excess body fat when merely having it around is enough to
make a person a source of derision. There are many wonderful, physically
beautiful, and yes, even fit, overweight people. There are many awful,
less-than-attractive, and unhealthy people whose weight falls within the normal
range.
I know that one reason fat is an insult is because people
view being overweight as something you could control, if you really wanted to
do so. To some extent, this statement is true. Putting unusual medical issues
aside, most of us have some control over our weight, but it isn’t as easy as
simply, “putting down the fork and moving more.” We first have to develop a
healthy relationship with our bodies and our food. We have to find the time
between all of our obligations to move more. We have to learn how to move in
ways that won’t injure our bodies. We almost always need the support of people
around us. We need to understand that health is important and looking like a
movie star is not only not important, but often not possible. We need to stop judging
people who are overweight as being anything other than who they are. By the
way, oftentimes the worst offenders are people who have lost a lot of weight,
much like former smokers are often the most obnoxious non-smokers. It becomes so
easy to fall back on, “If I can do it, anyone can. If you feel bad about
yourself, just do what I did!” First of all, every situation is unique.
Secondly, why would you want to diminish your own accomplishment? It’s hard to
lose body fat, and while our society loves a good weight-loss story, we don’t
really like the often long process it takes to get there in a way that is
healthy and sustainable.
How, I ask, are we to fix any of these problems if we use
the word fat as an insult? If we hurl it indiscriminately with no intent other
than to inflict pain, we will only continue to make things worse. It hurts the
person you are trying to insult, it hurts people who aren’t overweight, but have
no idea what, other than very thin, constitutes beautiful, and it hurts people
who happen to carry around a little extra body fat because you can think of
nothing worse to say than that someone may resemble them.
That being said, if I hear another, “Real women have curves,”
schpiel, I might just projectile vomit. Body shaming is body shaming. If you
don’t like it when someone does it to you, don’t do it to someone else. Trust
me when I say there are plenty of very thin women who would love some curves, and “Eat a cheeseburger!”
doesn’t do any more for them than, “Put down the cheeseburger!” does for
heavier gals. Real women have vaginas. The relative sizes of their breasts,
bottoms, stomachs, etc. do not make them any more or less a real woman than
someone w/ very different proportions.
While I would prefer that we not hurl insults at each other,
if you do feel the need to insult someone, next time try being accurate and
focusing on what, exactly, the person is doing wrong. “Ugh, that dancer was so
out-of-step; watching the routine made me uncomfortable. How did s/he get that
job?” “That politician is proving that s/he lied on the campaign trail. S/he
has a serious lack of integrity. Remember s/he promised ceiling fans for all
Americans and now s/he is introducing a bill trying to make ceiling fans
illegal! I guess that’s what happens when you take money from the Trading
Spaces lobby.” If you really just have to call someone a name, which I really
do not encourage, look to Shakespeare for your insults. There are some pretty
good ones in his works. There’s also just the good, old-fashioned “Jerk!” It is
simple and lets one know that you do not approve of his or her actions. Calling
someone fat as an insult makes no more sense than pejoratively referring to
someone as a brunette. “Her hair is just so dark. Gross.” See, it doesn’t make sense, does it?
*Disclaimer: I use the words fat, overweight, heavy, high
body fat percentage and a few others interchangeably here. I do realize that
someone can be overweight by one measure (BMI, for instance) and healthy by
another (body fat percentage). As I use the words here, please assume that they
all refer to the issue of possessing an excess amount of body fat.
